In this post we will discuss how to reframe your thoughts around chronic pain so you can start living your best life!
I know it’s not easy going through your day to day living with chronic pain. I used to feel so alone on this journey. I never realized how many people suffer from this illness. What makes it even harder is that it’s invisible. No one can see our pain so it’s hard for others to understand. I’m here to say, I get it. I understand what you’re going through and I’m right here with you.
I am so proud of you for going through your day to day with pain. It’s not easy but there are things we can do to make life easier for ourselves. You deserve to love every single day of your life! There are a few thought processes that I personally use to reframe my relationship with chronic pain. I want to share them with you and I really hope they help you too!
Disclaimer: I am not a professional, these are my own personal opinions and practices that have helped me. Please consult with a professional if needed!
Healing from chronic pain is a journey!
I like to think of it the same way as practicing yoga. There’s a reason we call it a practice. Because there’s no end, it’s something we always work towards. Some days are easier and others are harder. Healing from chronic pain is very similar. I really do hope that there is an end to it for both you and I. But for the time being, all we can do is practice making every day a little easier for ourselves!
It all begins with awareness
This single mindset shift has helped me cope and live with my chronic pain and still love my life!
Our thoughts have such a big impact on how we feel and show up in our lives. I’m sure you already know this! It’s not always hard to control our thoughts or emotions but we can begin to notice them. This is where it all starts; the awareness of your thoughts!
Start paying attention to the things that trigger a pain response
I know chronic pain is consistent but there are things that make it worse, that cause flare ups. Noticing what triggers a pain response for you is going to be so powerful in your healing journey. Start paying attention to how you feel throughout the day. What things cause you pain? Is it walking up the stairs, spending too much time sitting at your desk, washing the dishes? Whatever it is, pay attention to it.
And not just physical activities but also things that cause an emotional response. Stress is such a big trigger for chronic pain. Pay attention to the things that might cause you stress or any kind of emotion that makes your pain worse.
You won’t be able to notice all of these things in one day or even remember to pay attention all day long. But once you get into the habit of paying attention, over time you will start to recognize patterns in your triggers to pain.
A personal example of my triggers
It’s hard to share just one because there are so many things that cause a pain response. But one of them that is common and consistent for me is any type of social engagement. I love spending time with family and friends but I know if I go to dinner one night, I will need to rest and recover the next day.
Sitting at a table at a restaurant is going to cause pain but also spending hours chatting and laughing. The feeling of being “on” and having to engage/entertain for multiple hours drains my energy physically and emotionally. Which then causes a chronic pain flare up.
Because I know this about my chronic pain, if I have plans one day I will try not to make plans the very next day. This isn’t always possible, life happens and you can’t control everything. But I try to control what I can.
Give yourself grace
As I mentioned, you cannot control everything. We cannot always predict when a flare up will happen. If we are living with chronic pain then we know there will be a flare up sooner or later. Once we understand and come to terms with it, I promise it makes such a big difference.
If you know a flare up is inevitable, you can learn to be compassionate and give yourself grace. It’s okay to take time to rest and heal. Rest is productive, especially for us!
And this is why I say it’s a practice. Because no matter how prepared I try to be, I will always have to remind myself to be compassionate. When a flare up happens I do have to remind myself to allow that space to rest. Tell myself, it’s okay and it will get better! And I encourage you to do this too because I know it’s hard and it’s frustrating. Quite honestly, it sucks! But at the end of the day it’s your life and your health matters. Give yourself that compassion, let yourself rest and know it will pass!
Pay attention to your thoughts
Our thoughts are so powerful! Remember that you get to choose your thoughts and how you show up every single day. I want you to start paying attention to your thoughts the same way we discussed paying attention to what triggers your pain response.
Start noticing what your initial thoughts are in relation to pain. For example, when someone asked me to do something, the first thing I would think would be ‘well that’s going to cause me pain’. I was anticipating pain before I even felt it.
Once you start noticing your thought patterns you can start reframing them. When you hear yourself anticipating a pain response, change your perspective. Maybe tell yourself ‘I will be okay and if I do get pain from this then I can rest and recover’. And slowly over time the hope is that you will stop having that initial trigger to even think of chronic pain.
It’s important for you to stop anticipating it because then you’re just setting yourself up for a flare up. It’s going to take time to start noticing and reframing these thoughts. It can take months or years, like I said it’s a practice. But keep doing it, I promise it’s more powerful than you can imagine. And it becomes easier and second nature. You will start to question yourself over time and start believing that not every little thing has to cause pain!
Reframe your mindset to stop identifying with chronic pain
It’s hard not to identify with chronic pain when you live with it daily. But you are so much more than that condition. This goes hand in hand with my previous point about paying attention to your thoughts!
Once you notice your thought patterns you can start reframing them. Here are some examples:
- Going to the restaurant will cause pain – ‘I will be okay and if I’m not I can rest to recover.’
- I can’t work out because of my chronic pain – ‘I will do what I can at the gym while paying attention to my body. If something feels uncomfortable, I can slow down and adjust’.
Going for walks hurts my back – ‘I can start with a short walk and build up my stamina from there.’
You have a choice
Every single day you have a choice: Do you want to let your chronic pain control you or do you want to take back that control with self compassion?
It’s okay to have hard days, it’s okay to get frustrated and angry. I’m not saying be in denial or hold in your emotions. It’s so important to release your emotions especially when you have chronic pain.
What I am saying is pay attention to what causes you pain and slowly start to make small adjustments every day. Choose how you want to feel. If you need a day to give in and just binge Netflix because you feel terrible, do it. Get it out of your system.
But also allow yourself to feel like you’re so much more than chronic pain because you are! Choose to pay attention and focus on healing. Choose to be happy, do the things you enjoy and live your life to the fullest! Because you deserve it!
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